Breaking News: Canada Builds a Wall

After the results of the 2016 Presidential Election were announced, the Canadian Parliament unanimously voted to build a wall along the world’s longest unprotected border preventing U.S. citizens from illegally entering the Great White North. The law passed just shortly after Canada’s immigration website crashed due to an unbearable influx of server requests. Due to a loophole found in the NAFTA treaty, the United States will pay for the construction of the wall.

“The country of Canada was under the impression that if Donald Trump won the U.S. Presidential Election, only the country’s ‘A-List’ celebrities would immigrate to Canada,” questions Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. “Instead, 100% of new immigration applications are coming from internet bloggers, YouTube stars, magicians, and improvisers. Absolutely the worst the United States has to offer. It would be a tremendous disaster!”