‘Flirting in Cars’ or ‘Stoking the Ego a Little’

I may have mentioned it before but I currently work for various ride-sharing companies to make money, while this writing thing takes hold. I like driving and meeting new people and it’s helping me with introvertiness.

Never in my life have I ever had women flirting with me. I’m the one that always has to initiate encounters with women, usually to disastrous results. Now that I have a wife and kid, I no longer need to be involved in these mating games.

Never in my life? Twice this week, I’m having a really good conversation with very attractive women and things get pretty flirty…on her end. I’m very loyal to my wife, kid and marriage, so my first instinct is not to go down this road. I’ve got to stop the flirtation.

So let’s get into this. Instinctually, I casually drop the fact that I’m married and have an amazing 7-year-old kid. You would think this is enough. No, I guess things are so desperate in society that the fact of married-with-kids is not a deterrent.

What worked? “I’m going to turn 50 in a few years.” I now have to the air conditioner off, because it got really cold fast. What was that? I just heard a pin drop. I think I just killed my 5-star rating for this ride. “Ah yeah…my grampa’s 50…”

It’s hard for me to accept that at the age of 50, I’m the coolest I’ve ever been. Thank God I’m married. I just can’t see myself taking Lyfts and Ubers to bars every weekend or even attempting to hit on girls once again. Enough with the ego stroking. It’s time to go back to fat, old me.

Top Ten Christian Pick-Up Lines

The genesis of the Top Ten Christian Pick-Up Lines was the student banquet at Talbot School of Theology during my stad up days. The Top Ten Christian Pick-Up Lines is completely original material. Please ask permission if you wish to use this material in any presentation. Here is my gift to those struggling with Christian dating.

by Alan Ng, Copyright 1992.


10. Excuse me, is this pew taken?

9. Haven’t we prayed together before?

8. I know Dr. Dobson personally.

7. I’ve got a burning in my bosom for you.

6. I’ve prayed about it and God wants you to go out with me.

5. Has anyone ever told you, your eyes are like doves and your neck like the tower of David?

4. I’m not like those other (insert your church name here) guys.

3. I don’t speak in tongues, but I kiss that way.

2. Hey baby, you wanna take the church van for a spin.

1. What’s a nice Pentecostal girl like you, doing in a Conservative Baptist church like this?


This copyrighted list has been published for your enjoyment. You have permission to share this list with your friends, but you cannot profit
monetarily from the use of this list. Sorry, to have to put this in here,but I've been burned before.