I’m a Poker Donkey. I admit it.

I can’t tell you how many times in the past few weeks that I’ve been called a “donkey.” Donkeys are often referred to loose, maniacs who catch the winning card on the river.

If you like any normal poker player, you’ve been beaten on the river by a player who was hoping to get lucky. I’ve just come to accept that this is a part of the game of poker. There will be days that you’re opponent will get lucky and there’s nothing you can do about it.

I was in Vegas on my vacation and I was at a table that had quads appear 6 times and in seat 1 hit a winning straight eight times. That’s when you leave and realize you can’t beat the table.

Let me tell you about my donkey plays. Please note that I’m not a donkey player but I like to appear as one at times.

I was at Full Tilt Poker on a $.25/$.50 and I was dealt K-5 of clubs. The flop comes 10-4-2 with the 2 of clubs. I check in early position. Seat 5 bets and everyone folds to me. I decide to call the bet, because I think that my opponent at most hit one of those three cards and if I catch a King, I’ll win and I also have a back door flush. Plus, it’s only costing me a quarter and I have pot odds and implied odds to make the call. I’ll admit I’m playing a little loose.

The turn comes a King. I bet in early position, because I’m letting my opponent know that I have a pair of Kings and if he raises me, I know he has a set. My opponent calls. On the river, I bet and my opponent calls. My opponent shows pocket threes. I show my Kings.

My opponent goes ballistic and calls me a donkey. He questions my poker ability. He then goes on and on about what a bad player I am because I rely on sucking out to win.

Here’s how I responded:

You can only suck out on the river. I made the best hand on the turn.
When the King hit the turn and I bet, you should have known that I had a pair of Kings. Why did you call my bet?
There are four overcards on the board, why did you call my bet.
I had six outs (Kings and fives) to beat your hand, I had pot odds and implied odds to call his bet. I need 8-to-1 odds to call, which I had.

Here’s my question, why does a guy who thinks he knows everything about poker playing at a $.25/$.50 table?

So I’m on Full Tilt Poker again and I’m playing with King of clubs and a 4 of diamonds. The flop comes and I see King diamond, 8 clubs, 3 clubs. I have top pair in early position, so I bet and I’m immediately called. The turn comes a 10 clubs. I check and I’m raised. I’m in trouble but I call. They guy has to know I have a pair of Kings, so he has something that could kill me. The river brings a 5 of clubs. I just made my back door flush, I bet once and again. My flush bets my opponents set of 8’s on the flop. In the chat box, I see “Donktastic.”

I will admit, I knew I was beat on the turn, but the pot was big and it was worth putting an additional bet on the flop with 10 outs.

I don’t know why I have to put up with know-it-all poker players. So I chat that I had top pair but was hoping for the flush. The response “shut up, you retard.”

This happens a lot online. I’ve seen players take bad beats too personally. Raising against specific players to challenge one on one. I’ve read racist and sexist remarks based on the avatar they chose. It’s pretty stupid. My piece of advice is to just shut their chat off.

The passive aggressive in me loves to see these “poker pros” go on a melt down. I just love to hear them rant about how bad of a player we are. I guess this is what it means to go on tilt. If you’re so good, then get out of the lower limit tables.

When you sit at a low limit table, you have to expect loose play because the intrinsic value of each bet is so low that loose plays are more likely to happen. I’m more willing to be loose with $.25 bets versus $5.00 bets.