10 Year Tribute to My Company
Never would I have believed that I would commit my life to one company for 10 years. On December 10, 2003, I celebrated my 10 year anniversary at my place of work. I was given the opportunity to share from my personal journal. WARNING: if you do not work at this place, then you may not understand all of the inside jokes.
Author's Note: Due to the edgy nature of my humor, I was asked by my company to not include their actual name in this article. That said, the company that employs me is a great company and if any of their members have any concerns about them, please take this article for it's comedic value only. My company is a great company that serves evangelical churches, ministries and Christian schools. Please consider them for your financial services needs.
That said -- prepare to laugh.
December 9, 1993 - Dear Diary, 1993 is turning out to be a great year. In fact, our new President Clinton is really starting to impress me. As a simple governor from Arkansas , he may lack any political skill, but I believe he can lead this country on the sheer strength of his moral authority.
December 12, 1993 -I just got hired by [my current company]. This job should tide me over financially until I can get my television ministry started. I'll be here 4.5 months at the most.
December 14 - I just met the other minority. His name's [generic asian name] and he's Asian. I bet he works in IS.
December 15, 1993 - I'm learning to use WordPerfect for DOS. I'm finally working for a company that will stand up against large monopolistic corporations. Take that, Microsoft! The heavens will crumble before [my company] bows to your evil plan for global dominance.
December 18, 1998 -My girlfriend wants to name our kids Mark and Linda. Time to get a new girlfriend.
It not what I was expecting, but I can apply many of the things I learned in seminary here at [my company]. Step 1 - A messy desk will give the illusion that you're working hard. Step 2 - "Praying" or as I call it "Sleeping" at your desk is highly encouraged.
The newly designed $100 bill is awesome. This will surely reduce counterfeiting. Try to remember to tell someone that you took a few samples today.
I just got hired at [my job]. They want me to attend staff meeting. Gosh I hope they don't make me stand up and talk about myself, that's so old.
Thank you [the place I work] for the opportunity. I hope you take this for what it's meant to be...a loving tribute to a company that has supported me and given me the opportunity to get back on my feet.
God bless you all.